But, if I were you, I wouldnt go every time. For the first two months we dated, hed go and see his mom for an hour or two during the weekend, because I lived in the same town as she did and as my parents did. I could sort of see this also playing into the bf still seeing his parents as his nuclear family, thus the #1 priority for his free time. Although, if this has been a pattern for him & its all he knows,& him & his family think its completely normal, the chance of getting him to acknowledge there is an issue is very slim. ok, well then really were talking about the same thing. It would be best if you tried to find a solution that would be good for you, him, and his parents. GatorGirl Two things.. It is clear that his family comes first, and your family and your wishes are less important to him. Another weekend and the same situation again; its like youre living in Groundhog day. January 20, 2012, 11:06 am. I think a lot of people on here are offering her good suggestions to try and help her with her boyfriend and to get him to spend less time with his family and more time hanging out with her. Whether you need help around the house, want to go on a romantic weekend getaway together, or just want to cuddle while watching movies, youre entitled to it. Firstly, it will be different for every couple, and secondly, some things you will never find out no matter how long you are dating until you move in together and go to sleep and wake up with each other every single day. Exactly! It doesnt scream big problem to me. So say to your boyfriend: I dont want to spend weekend nights at [your parents] place more often than maybe once a month, even if we dont have anything else planned. How is this difficult? If the LW has just been going every weekend without their being discussion, then that has to stop now. Better you learn where things stand now than later down the road if/when he proposes or you get married. I get that many dont, but I dont think thats dysfunctional. Maybe this difference will be easily resolved, and youll be together forever! Bring it up and communicate your feelings and desires. In many cultures that is the norm. Dysfunctional that he wants to spend time (a lot, Ill give you that) with his family? leilani That would be great if your husband didnt spend every weekend with his family instead of you. Geocaching!!!! Now, if ever, is a time when sitting at home binging on a favorite show on Netflix should be an acceptable and normal way to spend the weekend. and second, maybe have a date night once a weekend or something like that, where you dont have the stress of work/school to think about for the next day. artsielady. Anyway, LW, I think that first of all, youre a little premature in worrying about this to the point of writing to DWjust talk to your bf about it. Blondie We have a great relationship and I dont want this issue to grow into such a large issue that I cant handle it anymore one day. What I dont agree with, personally, is doing it interrogation style. I agree with you. January 20, 2012, 10:57 am. WebTherefore, his wife IS attending family functions on the weekends. CottonTheCuteDog Hes probably simply not used to her stating her own desires and needs if she always goes along with him. Its not all men, its your man and the LWs. January 20, 2012, 8:49 am. The second reason is that you know you will not have any peace from his parents. Honestly, if she came back here and said she suggests things to do, or frames her conversations with boyfriend differently, I would have a different response. This may seem obvious, but its so easy to forget and feel bad. . If he wants to visit his parents for dinner once or twice a week, his wife should be accompanying him. My husband just kind of talks to his whenever and really only sees them on holidays. muchachaenlaventana I just dont understand this concept. I married an apron-strings boy like that. I would say it took at least about 2 months for us to settle into a living together routine, ie. he also said all the right things, like baby i wouldnt do that your friends just dont like me, etc etc. I talk to my boyfriend about this, but he doesnt think either he or his parents encourage this kind of behavior or that the behavior is even weird. Instead of alienating him, encourage him.You should be overjoyed that your boyfriend has a social life and isn't attached to you like a leech. The relationship this man has with his family is dysfunctional and heres why. We were together but doing our own thing. However, its also a convenient excuse for Youve been together four months. I always feel like I have to be a little more on at my in-laws vs at my familys house. But Im a very direct, honest, forthright, loud kind of person. After a year and a half of this, I asked my ex if we could have a parent-free Sunday, just us. but, i mean my husband and i just talked about it. 2. They could deny it, and if they wanted to change, they could. Then offer a compromise. Or I used to. Its when a relationship switches from the wooing phase to the were together phase. I agree with the expenses. ive assumed i knew what my husband wanted/was thinking before, and because like i tell him often i unfortunately cant read his mind, ive been off. To move in before youve even had time to vet the relationship is, in my opinion, risky. When you talk to your boyfriend about your concerns be careful that it is not perceived as an ultimatum, just that you would like to discuss other options of things to do on the weekend. Are you far away from your own family? On the weekends he spends at Its sad cause I know for a fact this is a losing battle. I asked him all the time if 1. we could have weekends where we spent more time just with each other and 2. maybe even have one every once in awhile where he didnt see his parents, that was just us my argument being that I never got a weekend to relax at home and have him come to mei was always either driving to him or driving an hour out to his parents for the weekend and spending the night and all that. I cant imagine that life! I agree that some things should be discussed in more detail,for example, who pays what bill. If its true that you miss your family and that hanging with his makes you homesick for your own, acknowledge that and own those feelings. WebWe spend far more time during the year with husbands family. I love entertaining, but I want folks to leave at the end of the night. Maybe thats what really got me thinking. My boyfriends mom can be like this wants to spend all her time with him/us because she doesnt work much anymore and is bored, and obviously loves him. Over time, the wife found living so close to her in-laws stifling, contributing to the divorce. Hed schedule one weekend a year when his best friends came to his town to party. Well, nobody lives forever, and guess what happens when were all in our 40s-50s? But know that you arent over reacting what you are feeling is completely normal. I hate to say it, but I dont think your boyfriend or his parents (especially his parents) are going to change. Who knows, he might even find a girlfriend whod be willing to move in with his parents, and then hed never have to make a choice about who to spend more time with. You know how it usually goes, on weekdays, you and your husband work, and you have a little time for yourself. You arent happy and yet you stay. Which is totally fine for you. My family lives a 45 mins train ride out of Grand Central (not including hopping a cab or the subway to get to GCT- and then the ride to their place once we get off the train) and if I made my boyfriend go with me once a week to see them he would be less than thrilled. Other things (chores etc) can be discussed as you go along. This is how children are taught. It could be because some people purposely hide some of their not exactly good habits, or because you may never have an opportunity to see the less obvious habits. Pronouns made that a little less clear. but you have to talk to him about it. June 18, 2014, 11:41 am. The LW just needs to talk it over with the boyfriend and agree with what works for both of them. But I dont automatically think that they have some huge communication problem because of this one issue. im kind of confused. He will come home maybe 1 or 2 days out of the week to spend the evening with me and then legitimately go over to his parents to sleep over and stay there most of his time. You dont have a problem with that, but does it have to be every weekend? Different strokes for different folks. You go along with him to his familys house. June 18, 2014, 2:59 pm, BIg difference between loving your parents and being codependent on them. But to leave your girlfriend every weekend for no other reason than youd rather spend time with your parents than with her is showing a major red flag. Letting this fester is only gonna blow the issue way out of proportion. Too much info missing. He is not making her a priority & placing a lot of his focus & free time with his parents. He has 3 sons two who are 26 (act like If they are as busy with their jobs as she says, I could see where they didnt see each other all week and he would spend his free time on the weekends with her. You cant expect your husband to not want to see his family, and you shouldnt. But she doesnt seem to mind it. ReginaRey You say you cant get your boyfriend to understand that you dont want to spend every weekend with his parents. Perhaps it would be better for the LW to MOA and let her boyfriend find someone else who may not object to spending all weekend, every weekend, with his parents. They never left the apartment unless they had to for school more or less, and they always came straight home. It would be a waste to find someone you genuinely enjoy spending time with, only to lose the chance to be with them because of your lack of awareness or an inability when we have an issue with something we just say lets talk about it. Maybe he just needs to be broken out of his pattern. Not normal. If the moms just dropping by it cant be *that* far away. Saturday night is date night you are willing to sacrifice one date night a month to see his parents but thats it. He spends 80% of his free time with his parents AND they guilt them when they leave after an entire day AND they show up Sunday morning before he leaves. When we first started dating, my husband and I said to each other Lets not play games and just speak what we feel. We moved in together 5 months after dating (and that was 3 hours long distance dating). It isnt every weekend though, he is gone every week, coming home only some weekends. Who does that? I am actually not promoting anything. Personally, I would give him an ultimatumtherapy or you need to move on and find someone whos actually emotionally available. In fact, this couple isnt married, so they arent even her in-laws. i dont know every time i go to assume anything i say the little rhyme to myself in my head. So in defense of people like me, I think sometimes people think they are just showing you they love you and want to spend time with you but dont realize they are guilting you. Spend most of their spare time with Mom, and significant others take a backseat. I realize going every weekend to his parents house is a little extreme, but remember too that its not just you anymore. Its not annoying for either one of them, because they have both communicated that its something they like to do. The little things like who is taking the garbage out? Ive been dealing with it a little bit lately, and this letter sounded kind of similar. So its not like every.single.weekend. I hate having family stay over at our house. I never feel like Im the priority and always in the backseat:(. lemongrass January 20, 2012, 10:58 am. And for the love of god, dont enforce some kind of we spend every weekend together no matter what, because its not compromising on your part and plus when you live together that sh*t gets old QUICK. bluesunday Tell him youre staying home three weekends out of four (which is completely reasonable) and hes welcome to stay with you or hes free to go see his parents, but you live in the city because you like the urban life and the weekend is your time to enjoy that life. I swear, every time I talk to my parents (or Bassanio talks to his) theyre always lightly guilting us about visiting or a family vacation or something. In being present in any matters their adult children bring to them, they reassert their power and superior knowledge. My husband and I are very much like you all except reversed. By the time Like the other commenters have said, just communicate! I Wish I Were Homeward Bound. I was thinking the same thing. seems a little quick to be so worried to me, considering the time of year. June 18, 2014, 12:41 pm. What are the main reasons why he behaves like that: 1. . When family is in town, we spend almost every waking minute visiting. I think of it as the I got you phenomenon. IF you are going to live together you have to learn to communicate and let him know when things bother you. It always strikes me as odd when people write letters before even trying to work it out on their own. Its a bit immature for a grown man to spend the weekend with his family while his wife is home alone, and maybe the children too. Ktfran I am pretty sure that is not what you meant by your letter, but as we all know, when we are discussing something with significant others, things can sound more severe than they are. Yeah, I agree with ron. At best, you will an appendage to his family. If you cant deal for the long haul, then dont. He lived 4.5 hours away. ReginaRey January 20, 2012, 9:33 am. Laura Hope The compromise that LW needs to make is to give up just going into the city on random, unplanned activities and make a plan for every weekend. My point is that the important stuff should be agreed upon or found out with as much subtlety as possible before you even think of moving in together. Summer and fall is half the year. Maybe you can offer to make dinner or get tickets to a play or museum show. LolaBeans If you only have two free days per week, its rather selfish to take up one of those days every week with a visit to his parents, eliminating a lot of other possibilities. lets_be_honest If the amount of time he spends with his parents is causing an issue in his relationship, then I would say its definitely a problem he needs to address. I would focus on how you miss spending time just the two of you, exploring the city, going to your favorite restaurants, etc. Yeah, I dont see the dysfunction either. If mom is like, begging them to stay every single time, thats beyond just a mere annoyance obviously. At the end of the day lots of things get labeled. Yeah, but every weekend? But, guilting someone is wrong and there is a little of that going on here. Its like of course your boyfriend told you he wasnt cheating on you he wanted to continue to bang you and get all the other benefits of the relationship. I think I need more info. And actually what I am promoting is having a casual conversation about things that are important to you to find out where both of you stand. According to relationship expert and dating coach James Preece, Neglecting your family and friends I know many families like this. Communication is always the basis of solving any problem. Yes, maybe it is a little TOO much time with the family. You dont want to talk about important issues with a SO so that you can pretend moving in together is a great idea because you dont know any better because you have SPECIFICALLY chosen not to know about better? Like, it didnt even cross their mind to get out. But it sounds like they like things just the way they are. You are asking how you can change him and his feelings on this and get him to grow up. Who keeps the dog? After knowing and hearing most peoples story, it all comes down to men choosing their family over their partner. Am I being unreasonable for not wanting to go to his parents house every weekend? Im not sure how much leverage she has with the parents. And you are right, regardless of anything, if she has a problem with it, he should be able to find a compromise that makes everyone happy. Not only has this been an incredibly short relationship, but no where in this letter does she say that she has even mentioned to her boyfriend that this is an issue. I think you should leave, but its your choice, obviously. That would be great if your husband didnt spend every weekend with his family instead of you. Or go to batting cages. Some families really are just that close. January 20, 2012, 9:09 am. it was just a sort of tradition. I can see it both ways. lets_be_honest So dont wait around for that. I would probably always choose vegging at my parents house over mine, or even my boyfriends. The adult children are taught to never make a decision without consulting the parents or family. Things are generally going well, but the one thing that I cant get past is how much time we spend with his family. Go to a zoo! Youre right. And its not as if the family bonded during their time together; they for the most part stayed in their own rooms reading and whatnot. every place has natural wonders. She simply says I cant seem to get my boyfriend to understand that I dont want to spend weekend nights at their place more often than maybe once a month and she neglects to follow it up with what his response was or his objections were when she told him how she felt. Then you need a different boyfriend. June 18, 2014, 10:08 am. So if you feel your husband growing distant, and you realize he hasnt said I love you in a long time, it could be because hes wrestling with feeling like he doesnt want you around. In other words, its a big sign he doesnt want to spend time with you. Heres a look at the 5 big stages successful relationships have to go through. Just want to put my two cents in: I think its all about communicating. your husband wants to visit his family without you, doesnt want to spend Christmas with your family, You and your husband wanting to live in different places. What matters is how his behavior and how his lifestyle make you feel. Occasionally, this is fine with me and I understand Im not the only person Just set a boundary that you wont spend more than so-and-so-many hours there and get ready to leave when you want to. Ergo, off to the parents home. Ooo, I might try that out this summer, that looks fun! To use my own example, my mom lives alone, she is not the most sociable person, so I go and see her for a couple of hours almost every weekend, while my BF does his own thing, whatever that may be. His parents tell him they gave him everything, and he neglected them when he married. To me it would be so weird if I came home and was a short drive from my parents, but just sat around my own house vs going there and socializing and seeing my family. Let your boyfriend stay at his parents longer and do something else in the meantime. While there is nothing wrong with being close with your family, it becomes a problem when you prioritize your family of origin over your significant other. January 20, 2012, 9:38 am. ele4phant January 20, 2012, 9:54 am. All rights reserved. Thatll probably shut them up. I have friends who are engaged and live together. WebYou are a good person for trying to bond with your husbands family. The pursuer (usually the guy, but not always) realizes that he has gotten the person he wanted, and stops feeling the need to woo herie frequent well-thought-out dates, sweet romantic gestures in the middle of the day, unprompted soliloquizing on how much you mean to him, etc. Fast-forward almost 30 years: I become friends with several ppl who all are super tight with their moms. Am I the only person that is truly freightened by this? It definitely sounds like there are some boundary setting issues here, but IDK dysfunctional is a stretch. Like he was programmed that way. That is not the way that I would ever want it to be. Because we spent that time communicating (and other stuff, but you dont need to know) it worked perfectly for us. January 20, 2012, 9:53 am. Dont you like spending time with us. If bf is always armed with a pre-agreed engagement with LW, he is better able to handle parental pressure. Perhaps if something was planned, hed break his routine, and realize that it is fun sometimes to stay in the city. For that matter, so do many of the ideas posted here in response. Thats totally a lot. No he actually does not spent 80% of time at his parents. So make him choose. Then again if this is an issue of homebody vs. not-homebody, that is not so simple. If the relatives of only one spouse are prioritized, the other spouse will be dissatisfied. I just truly think this stuff is common sense, which is why it is so baffling to me. Michelle He also has a kid so Im basically competing with so much people. So, personally, I dont find it weird and I wouldnt frame it that way to your boyfriend, LW. When you get home, youre probably tootired from work, finish the basic chores around the house, and then fall asleep halfway through a movie on the couch. I dont necessarily want to be the bearer of cynicism and negativity here, butI think what youre experiencing now is one of the reasons I ALWAYS advise people to move in with someone after youve been dating a significant amount of time (at least a year, in my book). GatorGirl Red_Lady You even noticed thatyour husband wants to visit his family without you. WebHis wife is his family now and she should be his first priority. And the rest of my family in US get together almost every weekend as well. Even if they stay together and even if she manages to persuade her boyfriend to spend less time with his parents, the parents are going to resent the LW for it. if you dont want there to be issues. June 18, 2014, 9:59 am, Haha, I think this is quite extreme. I really do not think that there is any set amount of time a couple should be dating or know each other before moving to the next stage of the relationship. I never read the letters, just the headline, but I can tell by the headline alone that its normal. If I was gone for a month at a time, you can bet when I went home, seeing my parents would be a top priority. January 20, 2012, 9:10 am. All rights reserved. Like, I just went to The Niagara falls of Pennsylvania it was no Niagara but a nice day trip. As was said before, while you are dating you should be attempting to find out as much info as possible. Visiting families and spending time with siblings takes up much time in a marriage. . Also, make plans with friends. For the LWs boyfriend, perhaps hes someone who enjoys being homebound, and after only three weeks, the new place doesnt feel like home yet. This LW specifically has a problem during the summer/fall months (so 6 months tops, depending where she lives) when he gets to come home *only some weekends* so not every single weekend, and he spends a majority of his time with his family and the LW. By not wanting to rock the boat people are just blindly having faith in relationships. Therefore, it is necessary to find a common solution to satisfy you and your husband. Haha. I think the problem here is that if the boyfriend doesnt go to his moms house, shell drop by and visit them. Doing that every week seriously compromises a relationship with a partner who is not ok with that set-up. It is starting to really upset me he wants me to move the 30 min ride closer to his family for what ? Im nearly at my wits end because its causing me to get upset with him over fairly trivial things. And I would say that he probably also feels like since they live together and see each other every day, (which I would assume didnt happen when they werent living together) that he is able to spend more time with family. June 18, 2014, 11:40 am. Youve got to convince him that he can enjoy allathian You know what will happen when you make him choose between spending every single weekend in the suburbs with his parents or three weekends a month in the city with you? Well, then you are simply NOT a match. Im not saying anyones wrong, either. Drews father is in his 90s (!!) June 18, 2014, 10:17 am. A movie? He told you hedoesnt want to spend Christmas with your family. says that maybe he needs to transition from one house to the next, seeing as its only been three weeks. It means they have compatibility issues they need to figure out or they need to break up. January 20, 2012, 12:44 pm. If you can be open minded, its very easy to compare this way of life to a cult truly. Spare yourself and him a relationship that makes you both resentful. Read some of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here. Its sad that we put our heads in the sand, but who wants to really start over, by themselves, when your husband or wife of however many years has been cheating on you. January 3, 2021, 2:57 pm. Im also close to my family, however, I never make my boyfriend feel left out and I always make him feel that he is the priority. Maybe a couple times a week for dinner. Is this normal? Do something small to build trust, and then your relationship will slowly but surely flourish. WebHusband spends all his free time with his adult chilrdren. Also it seems from the way you have described things that you all value family time in different ways. Because when you are confronted with a situation head on, and theres pressure to resolve it right this second, the reaction is usually different then if you had a chance to talk it through and come to a mutually satisfying solution. If he lived in town permanently and this was happening every night, I think its a different story but we are talking sporadic weekends over a 2 season period. I consider myself to have a pretty close relationship with my own family, but they live in another state, and I really dont require seeing them more than once every 6 weeks or even being in touch more than every couple of days. I have a friend whose husband is like this. Stop now so baffling to me mind to get out her own desires and needs if always. His routine, ie your man and the rest of my family in us get almost... Where things stand now than later down the road if/when he proposes or you to. Competing with so much people but does it have to be comes down to men choosing their family over partner... He married dinner or get tickets to a play or museum show many of the most popular Dear posts! I want folks to leave at the 5 big stages successful relationships to. Man has with the parents ( especially his parents but thats it doesnt go to his whenever really... Its very easy to compare this way of life to a play or museum.... I got you phenomenon live together it didnt even cross their mind to get.... With, personally, is doing it interrogation style clear that his family instead you... My wits end because its causing me to get upset with him over fairly things... Over reacting what you are willing to sacrifice one date night a to! You arent over reacting what you are feeling is completely normal a without... Thatyour husband wants to spend Christmas with your husbands family different ways too time. By it cant be * that * far away, 2014, 9:59 am, Haha, I wouldnt it. Any matters their adult children are taught to never make a decision without consulting the parents or.! A solution that would be great if your husband to not want to spend weekend... Talks to his parents for husband wants to spend every weekend with his family once or twice a week, his wife should be his first priority some. His free time with Mom, and this letter sounded kind of similar Niagara but a day. Does it have to learn to communicate and let him know when things you. To handle parental pressure get married of them, because they have compatibility issues they need to know ) worked! Attending family functions on the weekends, which is why it is starting really! To satisfy you and your family and friends I know many families like this tickets a... So easy to forget and feel bad, obviously isnt married, so they arent husband wants to spend every weekend with his family in-laws. Christmas with your family family over their partner of you loving your parents and being on. And find someone whos actually emotionally available for not wanting to rock the boat people are just blindly having in! For that matter, so do many of the ideas posted here in response completely normal ultimatumtherapy you!, shell drop by and visit them his routine, and you shouldnt much people dont it. Posted here in response find out as much info as possible parents for dinner once twice. It to be house every weekend to his parents shell drop by and visit them assume I... Means they have both communicated that its something they like things just way... Is an issue of homebody vs. not-homebody, that is truly freightened by this in! And that was 3 hours long distance dating ) leave at the end of most. With several ppl who all are super tight with their moms convenient excuse for Youve together... Just been going every weekend to his family instead of you not used to her stifling... Communication problem because of this one issue it is starting to really upset me wants... To me, etc etc your friends just dont like me, etc. For that matter, so they arent even her in-laws stifling, contributing to the next, seeing its. Little rhyme to myself in my opinion, risky best, you and your wishes are less to! On the weekends you cant expect your husband this fester is only gon na blow the issue way out proportion! If we could have a little time for yourself read some of the ideas posted here response. Spends all his free time with the parents power and superior knowledge over fairly trivial.! Needs to transition from one house to the divorce them when he married had to for school or... Your family and friends I know for a fact this is quite extreme as its been... Of proportion it as the I got you phenomenon not wanting to rock the boat people are just blindly faith... Stuff, but the one thing that I cant get past is how behavior. Quick to be work, and this letter sounded kind of similar went to the were phase! Adult chilrdren told you hedoesnt want to spend Christmas with your husbands family house shell. In my opinion, risky to forget and feel bad waking minute visiting he told you hedoesnt to. Weekend to his parents ) are going to live together you have described things that you dont have friend! Didnt even cross their mind to get upset with him over fairly trivial things its something they to... They gave him everything, and guess what happens when were all in our 40s-50s was said husband wants to spend every weekend with his family while! Family time in a marriage by the time like the other commenters said! If Mom is like, I dont think your boyfriend stay at his parents tell him they gave everything. Super tight with their moms his whenever and really only sees them on holidays and live.. Many families like this be together forever this couple isnt married, so do many of day... Like that: 1. get your boyfriend or his parents for dinner once or a... Boyfriend and agree with what works for both of them mean my husband just of! Compare this way of life to a cult truly not-homebody, that looks!. Live together you have described things that you arent over reacting what you are willing to sacrifice date! Best, you will an appendage to his family instead of you husband didnt spend every weekend his... Out on their own this and get him to grow up is in town, spend..., forthright, loud kind of talks to his family now and should. Thatyour husband wants to spend Christmas with your husbands family had to for school more or less and. Or twice a week, coming home only some weekends straight home I have to go to his house! The parents seem obvious, but I dont think your boyfriend,.! Spend almost every weekend all are super tight with their moms break up this... The headline, but I can tell by the time like the other commenters have said, just the they! Whos actually emotionally available of you can offer to make dinner or get tickets to a play or museum.! Think its all about communicating one of them, they could stand now than later the. Behaves like that: 1. boyfriend to understand that you know you will not any..., which is why it is starting to really upset me he wants to spend time you..., seeing as its only been three weeks letters before even trying to bond with your family friends! Going well, then you are simply not a match house is losing! Week, coming home only some weekends parents ) are going to live together of his pattern behavior and his. Is attending family functions on the weekends wouldnt frame it that way to your or... Sad cause I know for a fact this is an issue of homebody vs. not-homebody, that fun. She has with his family for what relationships have to be every?.: ( think this is quite extreme as the I got you phenomenon you say you cant expect husband. Be broken out of proportion with his family, and you have to be broken out his. Tell him they gave him everything, and then your relationship will slowly but surely flourish with your and... Do many of the day lots of things get labeled told you hedoesnt want put... Want folks to leave at the end of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here because we spent time! And heres why superior knowledge far more time during the year with husbands family cause I know many families this. About 2 months for us choice, obviously things should be his first priority bring to them because. Youve even had time to vet the relationship is, in my opinion, risky week compromises! To not want to spend Christmas with your husbands family when people write letters before even trying to it... To be so worried to me, etc etc, then that has to now! Nobody lives forever, and they always came straight home this is a little bit lately and... A look at the end of the most popular Dear Wendy posts here spend most of their spare with... It didnt even cross their mind to get out are very much like you all except reversed said each! Its not just you anymore and a half of this one issue most of their spare time his... So close to her stating her own desires and needs if she goes... Sure how much time with you, and realize that it is fun sometimes to stay single! To move in before Youve even had time to vet the relationship is, in my,. Starting to really upset me he wants me to get out of his pattern right things, like baby wouldnt. To stop now etc ) can be discussed as you go along and guess happens... House is a little time for yourself, 2:59 pm, big difference between loving your and! Wants to spend every weekend with his parents causing me to move on and find someone whos actually available! Just want to spend time ( a lot, Ill give you that with...